Well, it dawned on me today that at this time in 4 short weeks, we will be holding little Miss Nameless. Its hard to believe that we are this close...my how the time has flown by. I'm feeling it...Logan's feeling it...really I think that everyone around me is feeling it and wondering if I'll ever have this baby and hopefully calm myself down again!
I can't say that I'm 100% excited--I actually debated whether I should post at all for fear that little one will one day be reading this and thinking...thanks a lot, Mom! I am excited to meet her, I am excited to see her little face and to hold her little body. I'm excited to see Jarrod with her as he is the greatest father and I can't wait to be touched by all of those precious moments that they will have together. I can't wait to see Logan with her, but I fear so much that she will rock his little world so much that it will be too much for him to handle...and thus too much for me to handle. I think that the fears of raising a daughter are so completely different than the fears of raising a son. I felt and still feel SUCH a sense of resounding responsibility for making Logan into a "man." Raising him to above all love God, to be loyal, to be courageous, to be a leader, to be gentle when necessary but to still stand up for his beliefs...raising him to be a wonderful husband and a loving father. I think I'm at a loss about raising a girl. I know that above all I want her to love God. I want her to be strong, but submissive. I want her to know what it is like to have people in her life that love her, but I want it to be okay for her when everyone around doesn't. I don't really know how to teach that and its so hard for us girls when we aren't surrounded by people who love us. I know that I will have to be more careful than ever with my every move and that she will look to me as the example of a christian woman, a mother, a wife, a friend. I think that the level of responsibility is the same, but its still so different of a task laid before me. It scares me to death...and yet, I feel so honored that God is giving me the opportunity to help mold this little life into His image.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Just 4 weeks away
Posted by Sarah at 2:13 PM
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6 comments:
I can't believe that you are so close to delivering!! I can't wait to meet her!! I totally understand your fears and can just say that I'm not sure those ever go away! I have those same ones on raising a girl (and a boy) and she is 2 1/2 and I still feel like I'm screaming out, "What in the world am I doing? God, do you really trust me in this?" So far...so good! Hang in there! We can just learn together! You can give me tips on the boy and I'll see what I can scrounge up for you on the girl! :) See you soon!
First of all - Wow! Baby girl Dyer will be here in a blink! My, how time flies. (Unless you're the one that's pregnant - huh?)
Second of all, I think baby girl will be honored and feel totally loved to read your post. It is very clear that you love your children deeply, and that you are totally committed to them and each of their needs. I will say, it's good to read that other moms feel like the map they are supposed to be reading for childrearing directions is a bit smeared as I feel this way at times as well. After I spend some time in prayer, though, I feel the Lord guiding me with a steady, loving, reassuring hand, and I am able to regain my "Mom Confidence". Something that I know you already know, but may need to be reminded of, is that babies develop SLOWLY. Their needs emerge over time. Since she won't be born one minute and going on dates the next minute, you will have time to figure out her needs and how to teach her and show her the things you feel are vital to her spiritual and worldly life. God wants us to succeed as parents, and He will give you all the tools you need. I know you know that, but you have to give yourself some credit: you are nearing the end of a pregnancy (enough said right there), you have a three-year-old (enough said there as well), and your hormones are probably playing a bigger role in your emotions than you may realize. But no matter what all the reasons for your extra stress, you will always feel a strong need to raise your kids to be the best they can be because you are a good mom and you refuse to sit back and watch these precious kid years fly past you without giving it all you got.
Oh, tell Jarrod that Marijon is three months pregnant. I thought it would never happen. I guess pigs really do fly! ha ha
Sarah,
Just follow your heart and the rest will follow!
Your sis,
Stacy
Sarah, you are a wonderful mom and Logan and Miss Nameless are so lucky to have such dedicated, loving parents! Good luck in a couple of weeks, we'll be praying for you.
I found your blog off of the Wim's and I had no idea that you were prego with a girl...that is awesome and you write so well about your feelings... I can't wait to hear more.
We need a Dyer Update! It's getting too close to leave us hanging. ;)
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