Let the Dreams Begin

Okay, since Logan was born I've had this HUGE (some call it irrational) fear of my child/children drowning. I don't know what it is, but I do get deathly afraid of this at various points. I think that it all started when I was pregnant with Logan and I realized that there were multiple dangers that could easily cause this...my in-laws had a pool with 2 back doors, their backyard backed up to the Brazos River and they also owned a houseboat in Arkansas. Let me stop here and say that I LOVE these things. I think in another life, I could live in the water--if I believed in that sort of thing. I can find no better relaxation than on the lake, sitting by/in any body of water or just looking at the water--as long as my child isn't with me. My mother on the other hand is scared to death of it--this was always so absurd to me, but no longer.

For many other reasons, we have not taken Logan to the boat since he was 9 months old; however, we have decided that it is time to get him acquainted, so in another month and a half, we'll be taking our first trip to Arkansas as a family since he started walking. This scares me for a huge variety of reasons, but the biggest being that there is a large gap between the boat and the dock that any child could slip between, but is not large enough for an adult to fit.

So, now on to the dream...last night I dreamed that Logan was jumping between two platforms over water...I was trying not to panic aloud in my dream, but I awoke in sweaty sheets with my heartrate at a million beats a minute. I woke up just after 2 a.m. and didn't get calmed down until after 7 a.m. Today, I checked my email and found this:

"Why do I have such strange dreams?Your hormone levels are all over the map and you're about to undergo one of the biggest life events imaginable that's enough to give anyone the occasional nightmare. In fact, vivid, bizarre, or even terrifying dreams during pregnancy are probably the mind's natural way of dealing with the anxiety, excitement, and fear that accompany childbirth, says Dr. Raina Paris, author of The Mother to Be's Dream Book: Understanding the Dreams of Pregnancy. "

Yet another thing I forgot about pregnancy.